


I Never Gave A Damn About The Weather

by whisperfade



Category: Bandom, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Fake Relationship, Gratuitous Smut, M/M, Ryden, trope bingo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-03
Updated: 2017-03-03
Packaged: 2018-09-28 02:45:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10066973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whisperfade/pseuds/whisperfade





	1. the incredibly short first chapter, basically just an intro for some smut

Ryan Ross needed a date. And not just any date; he needed a date to his sister’s wedding. Unfortunately, Ryan was very single, and very wary of just hiring an escort, as his useless friend Jon had “helpfully suggested”.  
How does one get a boyfriend in two days? He pondered, wracking his brains for any gay, single man in the Las Vegas area. He got nothing. Pacing up and down his apartment, he tapped his fingers on his denim-clad thigh while he thought. He couldn’t not attend his own sister’s wedding, but his parents thought he had a steady boyfriend. Then again, his parents also thought he had a well-paying job as a teaching assistant, and that he was living in some place that wasn’t a dingy two-room flat on the outskirts of Vegas.

Picking up his phone, he hesitantly tapped on the contact labeled “Spence”. After three rings, he got through.  
“Hey Ryro! Wassup?” was the greeting that came through the phone as soon as Ryan raised it to his ear.  
“Not much, Smith,” he replied, steeling himself for what he was about to do. “Actually, I need your help.”  
“Anything for you, Ry-ry!” Ryan noticed he was grinning. Spencer Smith had that effect on people.  
“Do you know any single guys?” He broke off Spencer’s reply so that he could explain himself. “I need a date for my sister’s wedding, and I have no clue how I’m going to find someone in such a short time…” Ryan heard a click and a beep, and as he was looking at his phone in disgust, it buzzed, a picture appearing.

The image showed a startlingly attractive man, mid-twenties, with a short quiff of dark hair. The text underneath him said “Brendon B Urie, drama student in my class. Will do pretty much anything for $20”. Ryan texted back,  
Number?  
This was quickly supplied, along with an email address and a tumblr URL. Ryan spent another ten minutes wearing holes in his carpet, trying to think of how to start a conversation with this man. Eventually, he just tapped out a brief text explaining what he needed and a little bit of info about himself, before sitting down to Netflix and a gratuitous bowl of cereal.

About half an hour later, Brendon texted back with a picture of a tux, and instructions to meet him at nine on the day of the wedding, outside a particular Starbucks. Ryan allowed himself to finally relax, thanking god that he still had a day to mentally prepare himself for the familial shitshow that was sure to be his sister’s wedding.


	2. Chapter 2

Brendon had a car. Of course he did.   
“Hi, I’m Ryan.”  
“I know.” A stupid little smirk. “You ready to go? From the location you sent me we should be there by lunchtime.” Ryan was slightly stunned at Brendon’s organizational skills, he himself had actually paid no mind to transport until that very moment.  
“Uh, yeah, let’s go,” he replied, trying desperately to look anywhere but at Brendon.   
“Good, it’s over here,” Brendon led him to a car, and actually opened the door for him. Ryan began to feel as if he was on an actual date; he was startled to realize that he was starting to enjoy himself.

Brendon put on the radio, and the two sat in companionable silence for about ten minutes before Brendon decided to break it.  
“OK, so, if I’m gonna pretend to be your boyfriend, we have to do it properly. Tell me about yourself.” He only briefly glanced away from the wheel, but Ryan still felt the effects of his stare.

“Okay.” Ryan took a deep breath. “My full name is George Ryan Ross, but I go by Ryan. I was raised in a very religious family, who were surprisingly accepting when I came out.” At this, he shot a furtive glance at Brendon. His eyes were still facing forward, his gaze unwavering. “I left home when I was sixteen, I moved to the city and started music. My band isn’t famous by any standards, but we get by. I also work at a juice bar on the side. I’ve never had a serious boyfriend, and my two closest friends I’ve known since we were in diapers. Good enough?”

Brendon slowly turned his head to look at Ryan, and began to chuckle to himself. Ryan just shook his head, but smiled a little when Brendon’s hand reached down to grab his.

 

They were dancing. Brendon’s hands were on Ryan’s waist, and Ryan’s head was resting on Brendon’s shoulder. Ryan wasn’t sure if he was pretending to like Brendon anymore. Ryan’s sister twirled past on the arm of her husband, looking radiant, and Ryan couldn’t help but grin. The song changed to “Pirates”, by Jenny Owen Youngs, and suddenly everyone around them was jumping up and down, hands in the air, and then they were joining in, faces close enough to feel each other’s breath, champagne causing bad decisions, and then Ryan’s hand was in Brendon’s hair and they were kissing.

It wasn’t slow kissing, soft and romantic, it was sudden, and hard, and full of want and need and lust. Ryan found himself tugging Brendon closer and wedging a leg between his, and, just as suddenly they as they had started, they broke apart to whoops and jeers from Ryan’s family, especially his sister, who looked as if she was about to collapse with mirth. The two quickly sat down, and shot several quick, blushing looks at each other throughout the rest of the party.

 

Stumbling upstairs to their hotel room, Ryan and Brendon clutched each other’s arms for balance. Ryan produced a keycard and, after a couple of attempts, managed to open the door. The two pretty much fell into the room, and as a result, into each other’s arms. Ryan thanked whatever mystical force was watching them for the amount of alcohol he had consumed, significantly lowering his inhibitions.

When the boys sat on the bed, Ryan turned to face Brendon.   
“Thank you. You have no idea how much it means that you came.” In reply, Brendon leaned in, closing the gap between them. They started off kissing gently, with Brendon mostly leading, but after a few moments of this Ryan wanted more.

He flipped them over so that they were lying down, him straddling Brendon, and began to suck hickeys onto the creamy, smooth skin of his neck. Brendon hitched his breath, and started letting out tiny little moans and keens while Ryan sucked and licked and bit along his collarbone. Soon, both the boys’ need became apparent, as they were both extremely hard. Ryan looked at Brendon, and when the latter nodded, Ryan began to remove all of the material that was between him and Brendon, until there was nothing but skin on skin, hot and flushed, desperate.

Their mouths met, and there was none of the softness of before, this was all want, need and sex. Brendon’s hands trailed down to cup Ryan’s ass, and he squeezed it, causing an illicit groan to leak out of his mouth. They were grinding on each other, and Ryan could feel their precome mixing between them.

Ryan used all of his willpower to pull away, before sliding a finger into Brendon. He was so tight, but from the pornographic sounds streaming from his mouth, Ryan knew he wasn’t causing any pain. Gradually, he eased in another finger, pumping in and out of Brendon until he found the spot that make his hips buck and a cry escape. Ryan pulled his fingers out, Brendon whining at the loss of contact. Ryan then grasped his shaft, spreading precome around with his thumb before thrusting into Brendon in one smooth, fluid motion.

Ryan threw his head back, the pleasure so exquisite that he had to still for a moment, until a moan from Brendon brought him back to reality. Ryan lifted Brendon’s legs over his shoulder, and started snapping into him, hard and rough, and from the sounds Brendon was making he was loving every minute of it. Ryan’s name, accompanied with pants and groans, came in a continuous stream out of Brendon’s mouth, reminding Ryan that he was doing this to Brendon, he was making this incredible man come undone.

“Ryan- I need-“ Without needing any more instruction, Ryan grasped Brendon’s cock, pumping him in time with his thrusts. He only got a few more strokes in before Brendon was clenching around him, and coming with a cry that set Ryan off, until they were lying, entwined, each others’ come spread everywhere.

“Wow,” whispered Ryan, his voice slightly hoarse. “I fucking hope I remember this tomorrow.”


End file.
